Paranoia Issues

Isn't it funny how sometimes we go around thinking that everyone's talking about us? Maybe you happen to walk into a room and those in there look at you and stop talking...or their voices get softer as you approach...or it's obvious they just changed the subject cause you came near? Sound familiar to anyone?? Could it be that 99.9% of the time...the conversation really has nothing to do with us and yet we continue to allow ourselves to think that others are talking about us behind our backs? It's called "paranoia" folks and to be honest, I stuggle with it. And if other people were honest, I'm sure 9 out of 10 people would tell you they struggle with it too.

I hate being paranoid. I had an incident or two...or ten today alone! It never fails...Satan sees me in my weak moments and attacks. He tempts my mind to wander off to think these people are making fun of me, bad-mouthing me or critiquing me. It's ridiculous, I know...but this frustration is real and it's been haunting me for as long as I can remember. It would be nice to be free from this problem, but the chains stay attached....and even though I have the key in my hand, I struggle with the lock.

God is the key. His love and approval are exactly what I need to get past all this ridiculous paranoia. My worth and acceptance are found only in Christ Jesus and if I could just keep replaying that in my head through the day like a broken record, I would probably be a different person. But for some reason, I allow Satan to change the tune every so often and I revert back to finding acceptance from those around me....people...family, friends, co-workers, strangers even!!

Maybe this all sounds crazy to you, because you are the 1 out of the 10 who don't deal with this day in and day out...sorry you had to read this. Wait, no I'm not...it's probably good for you to hear about what other people deal with, so the next time you consider gossipping...you'll think twice. It's never fun being on the "talked about" end....I hope it never happens to you. I've seen too many friends' lives destroyed from gossip and senseless negative chatter. We'd do ourselves a world of good if we would have listened to our mamas in the first place when she told us, "If you don't have anything nice to say...don't say it at all!!"

This is a serious entry and probably one that will step on some toes...it's out of my usual realm...I know, but it's just on my heart today. Praying for deliverance in my life from this daily struggle. If you have any thoughts or comments or any helpful tips of encouragement...feel free to spill it!!